The Quotations Archive currently contains 1744 quotations.

Anonymous

A good marriage is like a casserole, only those responsible for it really know what goes in it.

-- Anonymous

A little girl at the wedding afterwards asked her mother why the bride changed her mind. "What do you mean?" responded her mother. "Well, she went down the aisle with one man, and came back with another."

-- Anonymous

All marriages are happy. It's living together afterwards that is difficult.

-- Anonymous

Be tolerant of the human race. Your whole family belongs to it -- and some of your spouse's family does too.

-- Anonymous

Compromise: An amiable arrangement between husband and wife whereby they agree to let her have her own way.

-- Anonymous

Every mother generally hopes that her daughter will snag a better husband than she managed to do...but she's certain that her boy will never get as great a wife as his father did.

-- Anonymous

Give her two red roses, each with a note. The first note says "For the woman I love" and the second, "For my best friend."

-- Anonymous

He believes that marriage and a career don't mix. So after the wedding he plans to quit his job.

-- Anonymous

He early on let her know who is the boss. He looked her right in the eye and clearly said, "You're the boss."

-- Anonymous

Here's to you and here's to me,
and I hope we never disagree.
But, if that should ever be,
to HELL with you, here's to ME!

-- Anonymous

I told my wife that a husband is like a fine wine; he gets better with age. The next day, she locked me in the cellar.

-- Anonymous

If it weren't for marriage, men and women would have to fight with total strangers.

-- Anonymous

If it weren't for marriage, men would spend their lives thinking they had no faults at all.

-- Anonymous

Is it better for a woman to marry a man who loves her than a man she loves.

-- Anonymous

It's not as great a day for the bride as she thinks. She's not marrying the best man.

-- Anonymous

Jealousy is the only vice that gives no pleasure.

-- Anonymous

Know her mind and you can have her body, know her heart and you have her soul.

-- Anonymous

Love begins with a smile, grows with a kiss, and ends with a teardrop.

-- Anonymous

Marital Freedom: The liberty that allows a husband to do exactly that which his wife pleases.

-- Anonymous

Marriage is a romance in which the hero dies in the first chapter.

-- Anonymous

Marriage is a three ring circus: engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering.

-- Anonymous

Marriage is bliss. Ignorance is bliss. Ergo...

-- Anonymous

Marriage is like a box of chocolates. You have to squeeze a few bottoms to make sure you like what you are getting.

-- Anonymous

Marriage is like a hot bath. Once you get used to it, it's not so hot.

-- Anonymous

Marriage is like a violin. After the music is over, you still have the strings.

-- Anonymous

Marriage is the only war in which you sleep with the enemy.

-- Anonymous

Mistress: Something between a mister and a mattress.

-- Anonymous

Mother-in-law: A woman who destroys her son-in-law's peace of mind by giving him a piece of hers.

-- Anonymous

Republican boys date Democratic girls. They plan to marry Republican girls, but feel they're entitled to a little fun first.

-- Anonymous

Some men are born with cold feet; some acquire cold feet; and some have cold feet thrust upon them.

-- Anonymous

The fate of love is that it always seems too little or too much.

-- Anonymous

The theory used to be you marry an older man because they are more mature. The new theory is that men don't mature. So you might as well marry a younger one.

-- Anonymous

They had a dispute about a night out with the boys. But he finally decided to let her go.

-- Anonymous

They have come up with a perfect understanding. He won't try to run her life, and he won't try to run his, either.

-- Anonymous

They're almost inseparable. Sometimes it takes ten people to separate them.

-- Anonymous

We always believe our first love is our last, and our last love our first.

-- Anonymous

We come to love not by finding a perfect person, but by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly.

-- Anonymous

Wind is to fire like distance is to love; it extinguishes the small and enflames the great.

-- Anonymous