The Quotations Archive currently contains 1744 quotations.

Miscellaneous

Epperson's law:
When a man says it's a silly, childish game, it's probably something his wife can beat him at.

If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. {2} If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. {3} If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing. {4} Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. {5} It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. {6} Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. {7} It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. {8} Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. {9} For we know in part and we prophesy in part, {10} but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears. {11} When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me. {12} Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known. {13} And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

, 1 Corinthians 13 NIV

Love and stoplights can be cruel.

, Sesame Street, U.S. children's television show

You have to kiss a lot of toads before you find a handsome prince.

-- American Proverb

Nothing takes the taste out of peanut butter quite like unrequited love.

-- Charlie Brown, character in "Peanuts" comic strip, created by Charles Schultz

Insurance is like marriage. You pay, pay, pay, and you never get anything back.

-- Al Bundy, character on "Married with Children," U.S. television show

Nothing says lovin' like marrying your cousin!

-- Al Bundy, character on "Married with Children," U.S. television show

Once a boy becomes a man, he's a man all his life, but a woman is only sexy until she becomes your wife.

-- Al Bundy, character on "Married with Children," U.S. television show

I hate work. That's why I got married.

-- Peg Bundy, character on "Married with Children," U.S. television show

I just want what every married woman wants, someone besides her husband to sleep with.

-- Peg Bundy, character on "Married with Children," U.S. television show

The only thing that holds a marriage together is the husband bein' big enough to keep his mouth shut, to step back and see where his wife is wrong.

-- Archie Bunker, character on "All in the Family," U.S. television show

Women: If they're not turning down your proposals for marriage, they're accusing you of suspicious behavior in the women's lingerie changing room.

-- Cliff Clavin, character on "Cheers", U.S. Television show

Love makes the time pass. Time makes love pass.

-- French Proverb

Love is the dawn of marriage, and marriage is the sunset of love.

-- French saying

Love is a perky elf dancing a merry little jig and then suddenly he turns on you with a miniature machine gun.

-- Matt Groening, Love is Hell

Love is a snowmobile racing across the tundra and then suddenly it flips over, pinning you underneath. At night, the ice weasels come.

-- Matt Groening, Love is Hell

To love another person is to see the face of God.

-- Lyric from Les Miserables

A man can't get rich if he takes proper care of his family.

-- Navaho saying

A White House well filled, a little peanut field well tilled, and a wife who will go to the Bronx are great riches.

-- Poor Jimmy's Almanac

When yer in a funk, people in love are a royal pain in the patookus.

-- Portnoy, character in "Outland," comic strip by Berkely Breathed

Never marry for money. Ye'll borrow it cheaper.

-- Scottish Proverb

If God wanted women to understand men, football would never have been created.

-- Seen on a bumper sticker

Here's a toast to your new bride who has everything a girl could want in her life, except for good taste in men!

-- Wedding Toast

With this ring I thee wed, with my body I thee worship, and with all my worldly good I thee endow.

-- Wedding Vow, Book of Common Prayer

My husband used to make all the decisions in our family. But now that he's a Promise Keeper, we always talk first and then he makes the decision.

-- Wife of a Promise Keeper, a U.S. men's religious group focusing on mens' commitments to their families

The innkeeper loves the drunkard, but not for a son-in-law.

-- Yiddish Proverb