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6/10/05 PM

5:20 PM (Randall posting): Just a quick note to let everyone know that Sophie will spend another night in the hospital. Sounds like basically they're wanting to make sure her blood sugar levels have stabilized before they send her home. I will be leaving in a bit to relieve Susan (who sounds a little overwhelmed after spending the day with Sophie, who was unable to take a nap thanks to all the coming and going). Elisabeth will stay with friends for a couple of hours while I head up to Chapel Hill and Susan heads back. I'll be with Sophie tonight and Susan will be at home with Elisabeth, eventually. Tomorrow morning is supposedly when Sophie will get to go home, but we've learned not to hold our breath. At a minimum, we'll need to check her levels tomorrow morning, try out her new at-home monitor (assuming it arrives in a timely fashion), and make sure we have all the information (dietary, medical, etc.) we need to have her released into our care.

By the way, if one more person tells me, "God never gives us more than we can handle" (no matter how true that may be), I'm going to scream. God did not give Sophie leukemia because He knew we can handle it. God did not give Sophie ketotic hypoglycemia on top of this because He knew we can handle it. I'd rather go through my day admitting to myself and everyone else that what we are going through on a daily basis, including Sophie's recent hospitalization, is, frankly, more than we can handle, but certainly not more than God can handle. Getting through this is not up to me, thank God!


Well put Bro. It's more than anyone should be expected to handle.

Randall, you are correct. God DID NOT give Sophie the diagnosis of leukemia. He DID NOT give Sophie whatever is causing her blood glucose levels to drop. However, I firmly believe the He DID permit all of these things to happen to our family. I firmly believe that there is NOTHING that happens to any of us that does not pass through His almight right hand. He DID NOT promise us that there wouldn't be trials and temptations in our lives. In fact, I believe that the passages says that we are to count it all joy about these trials and temptations. I fail on the count it all joy part many many times. What the Lord did promise was to teach us, walk with us, and that we are inscribed on His palm. When I am or have gone through the trials that I face and have faced - and you know what some of them are or have been, but not all of them - I try to remember to ask the Lord to help me learn the lesson He wants me to learn and to learn it quickly. I know that you must be as tired as I am going around some of these same mountains again and again. When I am really frustrated by the circumstances that I face I quote my favorite Bible scripture; "And it came to pass..." . Randall, all of you need encouragement right now. I don't have a magic wand to make things go away magically. If I did, I certainly would have removed this entire diagnosis and all of the implications thereof many months ago. The Lord did not give me that power. He did give me the power to pray, to claim healing, to bind the demonic forces at work and loose ministering angels and healing angels to work on your behalf. I know it has been hard for all of you to have your entire life turned upside down and inside out and pushed well outside of your comfort zone. I hear your frustration against the situation; I hear your jealousy or whatever emotion you claim it to be that other people do not have to walk the journey that you are on today. I don't understand why there are people who abuse and misuse their children, are permitted to keep their children while others provide better care for them and are not even permitted to see their children more than two hours once a week. I do not understand why women who abuse their bodies are permitted to have children and that other women who take good care of themselves can not conceive or if they do can not carry a child. All I can say is that the world is broken. Life is not fair or just even though we expect it to be. I do know that the Lord is walking with us though this ordeal with Sophie. Each of us will be a stronger and better person for having had this experience. I know that the Lord is using all of this for His good - that this is part of His perfect plan. I also know that the Lord has a plan and a purpose for all that has transpired since Janurary AND is working it all together for our good. The real issue I think is that we have our eyes on the circumstances and not on the Lord and the mighty work He is working in each of us.
Know that each of you are being lifted up in prayer daily by many people across the nation and the world. Draw from that power of prayer peace and joy that passes all understanding. What people say is meant to be helpful. People who says things like if God brought you to it He will bring you through it don't know what else to say. They don't understand what is going on nor why. They feel impotent to change anything and basically do not know how to express their feelings and emotions about the situation. Be blessed with the good intent that is meant and spit out the wood, hay, and stubble. Perhaps at some point you will be able to minister to other people who are hurting on a higher plain than someone who has not had to travel this journey with their family.
I pray that all of you will have a good nights sleep, awake refreshed in body, mind, spirit, and soul renewed. Hugs and kisses all around. Love, Eileen