6:30 PM So many people have added comments and phoned and expressed support. Thank you. I guess I worry a little about how much of my feelings I should share in this format, but to make a sort of breakthrough or to have the sort of realization that I had this week was something that needed to be public. All the time, people ask, "How are you doing?" or "How's the family?" or "How is Sophie doing?" Oftentimes, the answer is "Fine." And that's telling the truth. I am fine. We are fine. Sophie is fine. But "fine" under these circumstances is not the same as "fine" under other circumstances, never could be.
As I typed last night and expressed my frustration at being "at best" 75% in all that I do, I was wondering, "when have I ever been at 100%?" If I have ever been at 100%, what room would there have been for all the people whose support and love and encouragement make any of what I do even possible? How foolish of me to think that 100% was a realistic goal for my life. In retrospect, 75% was probably an overly optimistic figure. 75% would be something to aspire to, perhaps, still leaving plenty of room for family, for God, for whatever. Maybe from now on I'll remember that (maybe) and be content when I'm "only" at 50% (knowing that in love and by the grace of God, it will be enough).
Sophie had a great day today. Her energy level continues to remain high, and she continues to barely pick at her food. Elisabeth had a good day at school today, and from what I hear, Susan had a good day at work. This is our normal life, going about normal things, work, school, church, play. Another day in the life.